Coffee Talk

So, today I met a drifter (I'm trying to use that word instead of "bum") outside of Starbucks who needed money for "a coffee". When I told him to just follow me in b/c I was headed that way, you could tell he was disappointed b/c he really just wanted the money (a liquor store was next door). 

But I reeled him into Starbucks for a lil' chit chat. 

While he (Peter) had every pleasant intention in the world, he was clearly coasting on some kind of substance & talking all kinds of crazy (good thing I speak that fluently). 

My imagination immediately morphed him into a 5-year-old kid talking about all the stuff kids create to talk about. He liked fire trucks and everything he wore was his favorite color, green. He loved cowboy movies. He built a fort in his yard. His mom makes the best pancakes. And his favorite thing was to camp-out with friends. (Again I'm imagining all this). 

The thing is, all of that may not be too far fetched. Once upon a time, this guy could have been the boy next door. We all reach a fork in the road and sometimes, people choose the bumpy, dark, not marked road. If you know someone struggling, they could very well be standing at their fork. Friends, let's step up and be assertively loving w/ those we care about. Help means nurture but also means giving direction. People may get upset with you, but at least you are making the other path in that fork look a lot more appealing.

*Ask what's really bothering them. Listening is a medicine in itself. 
*If they need outside help, rally a group of friends to pitch in for some counseling sessions.  We spend money on birthday presents people may never use or housewarming gifts that stay in the "regift closet" but hesitate to offer gifts that people truly need.
*If they need to start going to meetings (for any addiction), offer to attend with them until they make friends. 
*Check in.  Shoot an email, text or quick phone call just asking how their day is going.  People spill when life runs over. 

A friend loveth at all times.  We don't take vows but I think that's what actually makes friendship so special. Don't just reach out, pull in.  

-Kat Cowley

Want a Rush?

I've got to give a shout-out to my man, (Alex), who introduced me "Destination Unknown" style to the band RUSH.  Never before had I even listened to a single track, until I found myself side-staged to this pretty prolific musical experience.

Their ability to put on a mind-bending show was an obvious, but as a fellow writer, I was blown away warp-style by their song-writing gifts.  I officially had entered the Fan Zone.

When I learned more about them I began to respect them even more.  Turns out that after one successful album, they decided to hone in on their writing convictions and introduce a totally new musical concept to the rock regime.  While they were proud as a peacock about it all, it was a total flop industry wise.  No one "got" their deep lyrics and hidden musical statements. Their record label was furious at them, their management was constantly defending them, and they found themselves as the new "it" in town under serious fire.  They were basically told to quickly mold up to industry standards and produce the music pushed their way, or hit the highway.

Here's where my love for them comes...they were completely down with the highway part of that scenario.

Rather than sell out to what "insider" people wanted them to be, they talked amongst each other and after some heart-to-hearts decided going out in a blaze of personal glory was better than going for years on a lie.  So, they tailored what they THOUGHT would be their very last album, 2112.

The critics rolled in with some heavy backfire.  Again, according to the people that "know" music, they were done for.  But you want to know what happened?  Their actual fan-ship tripled tenfold.  Fans became clans and their shows were greeted with maxed out crowds on a consistent basis. The people that kept them in business (the fans) cared absolutely nothing about what press or public personalities had to say.  They had a band they could identify with and were ready to support that cause in sales.

As they say, the rest is history.

RUSH is one of the most iconic rock bands of our time and that particular album, 2112, was just recently voted by Rolling Stone as the #2 "Favorite Progressive Rock Album of All Time".  It's been 37 years since its release and we are still giving it props.

Here's your Uplifting Reflection:  Follow your own inner "know".  Let people talk.  Let that talk go into a black hole somewhere.  Be so sure of your convictions that you are prepared to go out in a blaze of that glory.  You'll find that the only blaze you'll end up paving is that of your personal greatness.

Bonus piece of awesome...watch the RUSH guys bomb at playing themselves on Rock Band.  Just another reason to not listen to the "fail" decree of that in the "know".    

Not All Roses Are Red

We've all heard the poetic verse, "Roses are red, violets are blue..."

And while it makes for a nice setup to something short and sweet, I'm going to notion the basis that it's not actually as matter-of-fact as the stanza requires to support the whole "I love you just as certainly as roses are red/violets blue" formula.

Because we all know roses aren't just red (and violets aren't just blue for that matter).

So, technically this classic poem intro is saying, "I love you IF you are a red rose."

It got me to thinking about conditional love.

I love you IF you share the same beliefs and views as me.
I love you IF we are comfortable financially.
I love you IF you stick to my idea of attractive.
I love you IF you make me feel accepted in my faith/social/business circles.
I love you IF we can have "x" amount of kids.
I love you IF I feel I'm able to call the shots.

And this is love in all the layers:  romance, friends, family.

I love reading because you can read a line, and sit in your head with it for a while and hang out.  So, hang out with this thought: Do you give conditional love?

No one sets out to purposefully offer conditional love.  I truly believe at the heart of it, we all want to give and receive unconditional, pure, automatic love.

So, what gives?  Why do conditional love strings bind our relationships sometimes?

Reflection.  I write under "Uplifting Reflections" for a reason.  Everything we do, say, want to say, think, stew over, etc is like staring at ourselves in the mirror.  Your Aunt Ida doesn't infuriate you, the fact that you let Aunt Ida and her crazy train get to you is what infuriates you.  Likewise, when we extend conditional love to someone, it's the misperception that WE can't be loved 100% unless we do X, Y, or Z.  If you are at the point where you unconditionally love yourself, you will automatically unconditionally love others.

And that's why we're here.  We're trying.  And that's all that matters.  The effort of trying.

We're all different colored roses at different times in our lives.  Learn to love your own colors and you'll find the garden of life to be a much happier (and satisfying) place.  

Re-write:
Roses all shades, colors and hues
Radiate love found within you. 

-Kat Cowley

A Bug's Life

I was walking my dog, Mali, this morning when I noticed two little roly poly bugs crossing our path.  I couldn't help but wonder if they were out on their own "walk" and were looking at me and Mali in curiosity of what we were doing.

It just made me realize just how grand a scheme our world is.  There are billions of creatures having their own life path each and every day alongside us.

We are taught humans are the "dominant" species, so are programmed to worry about ourselves first, but spend time today looking at all the little lives around you.

Someone's baby bird will take its first flight today.  A flower will have its first bee visitor.  A mouse will meet their baby daddy. A flower will break through the sidewalk and finally bloom.  And a fish will join in its very first school migration.

When you start your day, know lots of other creatures are beginning their day as well.  It's just cool to know we have so much company on this great planet of ours. As different as we may be, we all have places to go and things to do :)

"The creatures that inhabit this earth--be they human beings or animals--are here to contribute, each in its own particular way, to the beauty and prosperity of the world."  - Dalai Lama

- Kat Cowley

Jurassic Win

This is obviously the best wedding photograph ever. It also just goes to show that your imagination, and one spark at the right time can catapult you.  Needless to say, the photographer, Quinn Miller, is a sought out man after this photo hit viral status.

Keep doing you - the world will find you when that spark is ready :)

[Full article in The Huffington Post]

XO

-Kat Cowley

Comic Detour via Memory Lane

I stumbled upon an old CD book of mine and it has provided mass amounts of entertainment for me this past week. I got my first "floor warning" from an upstairs neighbor who apparently doesn't like TLC tributes at 7AM.

But regardless, my collection of euphoria has delivered plenty of laughs, resurfaced some dance moves from watching Aaliyah an inappropriate amount of times, and brought me back to what was going down in life when each Destiny's Child hit rolled around.

One song has influenced a new phrase that unfortunately for all my friends and family, has integrated into my outburst vocabulary.

If you are anywhere in the 25-35 year-old age range and have an honest bone in your body, chances are the teenie anthem, "No More" (attached below) had rotation play on your own Discman back in the day. (And in my case, influenced my wardrobe).

What got me tickled- and entered my outburst vocabulary- was the breakdown part of the song (2:18ish) where one of the girls says, "Hey yo, you promised me Kate Spade, but that was LAST year boy in the 8th grade!" 

When I first re-heard this song, all I could make out was the anger about something happening with a boy in the 8th grade.  I was trying to context clues it and couldn't think of anything that would have angered me to the point of a rap battle in the 8th grade.  ["What- you didn't save my seat for the field trip bus? Done."]  

But at the time, I'm sure a lot of your 8th grade problems were the absolute end of the world.  I can remember singing this song with major attitude and conviction and I wasn't even in the 8th grade...more like 11th grade (and definitely didn't know what Kate Spade was then).  But it made me laugh because I couldn't think of a single thing that would have made me mad back then, even though some sort of situation triggered my heartfelt, "No More" sass status.

I'm sure you can all think of songs that trigger that old time feeling and you have the same afterthought.

Point being, the problems of your today will one day be "in the 8th grade" and be long gone.  They may even (most likely actually) look silly eventually.

Tell your problems they are...no more.



- Kat Cowley

Love to Nanu

It's been one of those weeks.

X that, it's been one of those 2 weeks.

I'd like to propose we incorporate a new phrase into English language.  In leu of April showers bringing May flowers, I think April rain makes May insane.  In addition to regular daily living responsibilities, May is noted for unpredictable weather, a plethora of graduations, weddings, showers and moving days, and ushers in travel season.  May is always a month on the move.  And boy does my brain feel it.

A new mantra I adopted for myself when stress levels rise is, "The time when you need a break is when you don't have time for a break."  and I've been pretty good about holding myself to that.

But not this week.

Or last week.

My body started throwing the penalty flags left and right- a breakout reunion, a mouth sore, tired eyes, fidgety nerves - you know the flags I'm talking about.  I didn't even want the chocolate peanut butter ice cream I saw my boyfriend left in the fridge.  (Usually that would have been a snack casualty after day 1).

But leave it to the good ole' Universe to know when God needs to send me a pep talk.

Meet little Elke.

She's a sweet, little bundle I get to hang with some while her parents are on vacation.  When I picked her up for preschool today she was going on and on about how today was her "Nanu's" birthday. (Nanu is what she calls the toy cat in the picture).  She even picked a flower for Nanu so it could hold it in the car on the way to school for it's "birthday".

Ok, kids at school - me on the grind - and life back to 200 mph.

When I went to pick Elke up that afternoon, she busted through the line of moms and other classmates and tackled my leg with a big hug, accompanied by an excitement shriek fest.  (So that's why you guys have kids? I get it, I get it.)  But as not-awesome as I felt, that little 3-year-old made me feel like I was the ultimate person on planet Earth.  There might as well been a red carpet under my feet. Heading to the car she spotted her older sister on the playground and got another hug in for the day.

I'm buckling her into her car-seat and she's still going on about her Nanu's birthday.  She gets pretty sleepy right around this time, so starts talking like kids do when they're tired...it barely makes sense and is usually the most entertaining.  But I can make out what she's saying quite clearly.  As she's drifting off, she's holding that Nanu as close to her face as she can and keeps kissing it saying, "I love you Nanu".  Over and over.  Before she crashes, she says, "Nanu you can take a nap now."

I just smiled. A tired, happy, thank you for reinstating my priority grid kind of smile.

There in that backseat was a 3-year-old showering love over everything she graces.  That's all she did today.  Precious is commonly used with little kids, but really- I can't think of another word.  It is precious.  It's rare and pure, and not emulated enough.

"Honey, what did you do today?"  -if Elke answered that question she'd just say, "I loved a lot of things".

That's my new goal- to have the same answer as Elke.

- Kat Cowley